This Female Celebrity Urges Women to Grow a Thick, Thorny Bramble Bush of Pubes

Cameron Diaz brings so much to us all. A lovely face, a stellar career full of comedy greats. And now, sassy and totally scientific advice. She’s got a bone to pick, and she’s about to tell all y’all exactly what’s wrong with the world today. You'd better listen up…


Following Her Own Advice

What about Diaz herself? Is she following her own advice? It’s hard to say, since we haven’t had the pleasure of getting a glimpse of her nether regions. But given her string of adoring, handsome boyfriends, and her complete disregard for anyone else’s opinions, we can bet she’s probably got her own wild shrub.

Where This All Came From

This all might seem like it came out of nowhere, but in fact it’s something that Diaz has been thinking about for a long time. She even wrote a book, called “The Body Book: The Law of Hunger, the Science of Strength, and Other Ways to Love Your Amazing Body”, in which a whole chapter was dedicated to lady pubes. She’s got a one track mind.

Defying Gravity

One other thing: like everything in the inexorable flow of grandfather time, your lady bits are going to droop and sag. Gravity’s going to tug those labia to the floor until they’re unattractively swinging in the breeze. That is, of course, unless you’ve got a nice big woman-hedge to cover it all up and keep it contained.

A Mysterious Door

So why exactly should these girls live and let sprout? The first point that Diaz makes is that the pubic bush is a kind of curtain, a way of making that pink door beyond that little bit more mysterious. “A pretty draping,” she calls it, which is kinda strange but not entirely untrue.

Enticing Lovers

Once you’ve got that wiry muff hiding your womanly goods, Diaz explains, you’re all set to become mysteriously sexy. You’re offering up your sacred portal, but in pretty little wrapping paper that potential partners will be begging to unwrap. Just don’t make it too thick, we suppose, because it’ll turn into pass-the-parcel.

Just A Fad

Cameron Diaz also argues that this whole laser and wax obsession is only recent, and it’ll pass soon enough. She’s got a point, for once. We can go on for ages about the utility of a bare mound, but the fact is that it’s really only become popular in the last two decades. And since it’s been possible to go hairless for over a century, why wasn’t anyone doing it before? Simply because it wasn’t popular yet.

So Don’t Be All Laser-Happy

Laser technology is fairly new, though, which has Diaz worried. Because once you go down that rabbit hole, there’s no going back. You’re never going to have that lush rainforest ever again. If you want to wax, fine, she says. Just don’t make a decision you can’t take back later.

She’s Got A Message For All The Ladies

After decades of being the star that everyone listens to, Cameron Diaz isn’t afraid to speak her mind. And she’s got one weird message for all the ladies: let your bush grow free and wild. It might not be what two generations of Brazilian waxers want to hear, but it’s something she really believes in.

What Else Is In The Book

In her book, Diaz covers a whole range of topics, from diets to motivation and everything in-between in the search for body self-acceptance. Given her incredible body, she’s a pretty good authority herself. Although we doubt there’s actually that much science involved.

What Exactly Did She Say?

There’s no point paraphrasing. We’re going to quote from the megastar directly: “It's a personal decision, but I'm just putting it out there: Consider leaving your vagina fully dressed, ladies.” At least she’s not banging on about starving African children like everyone else.

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